Harmony Within Chaos

Aruncatura de bat

2009-08-28T01:54:00.000+03:00

Se intampla pe neasteptate, in timpul unei activitati banale si deobicei statice. Apare fulgerator si dureaza de la cateva secunde pana la cateva minute. Imagistic este uneori reprezentata sub forma unei persoane ce se priveste pe sine in oglinda fara vreun scop precis, cum ar fi verificarea machiajului ori a lungimii barbii. Este o senzatie cu siguranta cunoscuta multora, insa despre care se vorbeste putin, fiind ceva personal si, in plus, greu descriptibil. Eu o voi numi "aruncatura de bat".

Aruncatura de bat vine pe neasteptate. In clipa in care ea apare, o senzatie stranie de constientizare a propiei existente invaluie subiectul aruncaturii. Are loc o schimbare radicala de perspectiva, trecandu-se de la un aparent obiectivism, la un subiectivism profund. Deodata, persoana in cauza realizeaza ce este, si ca nu ar putea fi nimic altceva. Tot ceea ce exista in jur este distinct. Senzatia este perceputa totodata ca o limitare, ca o ingustare brusca a unei autostrazi largi la un drum prafuit de tara. Constiinta apartenentei la familie, la grup, la breasla ori la neam dispare, in timp ce singularitatea, unicitatea si nesubstituibililatea fiecarui individ in parte devin mult mai perceptibile decat in mod normal. Uneori, o usoara senzatie de panica poate acompania aruncatura de bat.

Intr-un final, aruncatura se finalizeaza prin oprirea fireasca a batului in urma contactului cu solul. Lucrurile revin la normal, iar gandurile si problemele care, pe parcursul aruncaturii, devenisera inexistente, incep sa reapara in prim planul subiectului. Tot ceea ce ramane este o vaga realizare a supraestimarii importantei acestor ganduri si probleme, ce dispare si ea dupa cateva minute.

Why Write?

2008-12-31T04:28:00.004+02:00

Every now and then I get this feeling that activities such as writing are generally useless. There are today probably millions, if not billions of books, articles or blog posts, all existing because of this need some people have to express themselves, to share their thoughts with others. But is it really of any good? Sure, there are a handful of books that have proven very influential to our society (like the Bible and the Qur'an), and there sure are a lot of useful scientific papers and books that contributed to our evolution. But I'm not talking about this kind of writings, I'm talking about writings written only to express one's thoughts about something. I'm talking about writings like this blog post.

I find it to be somehow pathetic to fool yourself that your thoughts are so valuable that they deserve to be written down and shared with the rest of the world. Actually, the more enthusiastic people are with writing and the more easier it becomes to be able to write and share, the harder you will find something valuable in this ever-growing sea of written words. Don't get me wrong, I think it's great that things like blogs where invented and that people are eager to use such tools, but in the same time, I think this writing thing, for the most of us, is perceived as something more valuable than it really is.I particularly target books, papers, articles or posts that talk about the author's ideas concerning the greater things in life. And, most often, this blog falls in this category; in a way, this is a post criticizing my own blog.

Socrates once said: “By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher and that is a good thing for any man.” Much more recently, the Unabomber wrote in his manifesto that “we use the term "surrogate activity" to designate an activity that is directed toward an artificial goal that people set up for themselves merely in order to have some goal to work toward, or let us say, merely for the sake of the "fulfillment" that they get from pursuing the goal.” Well, I doubt that “becoming a philosopher” (a pretty bad and unoriginal one, most of the times) is “a good thing for every man”, but I think that these types of activities are a perfect example of what Ted Kaczynski described as a "surrogate activity".

When things aren't all shiny and bright, people start to build up complex models, to complicate things and to generally just think too much. Eventually, they are starting to believe that they have discovered a part of this word's mechanisms, that they begin to understand how things work, and they feel the need to brag about it by sharing these discoveries with the rest of the people. Their initiative is a conceptual failure, because, if they where indeed to have discovered such things, they would have been most probably enjoying living their lives, instead of writing down all these thoughts. What Socrates said is basically that being a philosopher is nothing more than a manifestation of frustration. But this is something that can be easily extended to all sort of other activities, starting with art, and covering probably most of what we are doing when we are not hunting or gathering food. Our culture tries to dismiss such a thought, and we are educated since the beginning of our lives to respect and to aim towards high achievements. In fact, we are trained in such an effective manner, that many times we are stroke by guilt if we are not always trying to achieve more and better things, to earn more money, to climb the professional and social ladder, to “use our potential”, as they put it.

From my point of view, this post should be a paradox. But I am still able to not think too much and be preoccupied with such things as paradoxes all the time, so frankly, I don't care. I'm just going to post it, because I feel like doing so. There it is, I still stand a chance :)

Happy New Year!

Parasites

2008-12-22T03:00:00.002+02:00

I woke up this morning thinking about going back home. Outside it was already dark, and the city lights where spreading across the ever-present fog. So where am I? And is this really just another day?

Here I am writing down some words and slowly preparing to go back to sleep. It's just a couple of hours since I've woke up, but this is the way things are during winter, the days become shorter, right? I have this strange feeling that I'm missing something; that I perceive time very differently than I have done it in the past. Sometimes I get a little bit paranoid, thinking I'm somehow mysteriously managing to actually loose time. Have I discovered the secret of time traveling, without even knowing it?People are scared of things they cannot control. People fear, but in the same time, are attracted to such things. These feelings exist because we subconsciously know those kind of things can bring pleasure, but in the same time, can hurt us. But we are gamblers, and we often take the risk. As we grow old, we become less and less willing to do so, because our past experiences of suffering carve deep in our conscience, and we become reluctant to take any chances. But, by doing so, we are digging our own graves.

I am home, as I have always been. I have never left this house I'm living in, and I have never really woke up just yet. I can hardly imagine myself getting out of my bed, dressing up and going out there. I have practiced doing this many times, but I still do not understand how actually doing it could help me. Time, you see, is just a weapon of nature. It helps it to eventually get rid of parasites.

Scale

2008-12-02T01:16:00.003+02:00

It has always been a good reality check for me to remember the scale of our own existence; as individuals, and furthermore, as species. It can prove useful sometimes to remember we are one of the tens of millions species that populate one of the planets that orbit around one of the 100 billion stars that form one of at least one hundred billion galaxies in the observable universe.

And if we as species are here for no more than one hundred thousands years, while our planet has been around for 4.55 billion years, our existence as individuals, spanning over a number of decades, seems to be so small that we can easily ignore.

Now, I'm not saying we should ignore our own existence, but a certain degree of humbleness every now and then won't hurt us; and maybe, just maybe, it can make us live less stressful lives, carry on fewer wars and enjoy more this split of a second that we call life.

Of course, we are set up to perceive time at our own pace, and somebody having a broken leg will always feel the half an hour until he or she receives medical attention like an eternity. Obviously we cannot measure our time using the astronomical scale, but I think doing this exercise every now and then can sometimes be useful.

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Enjoy: The Lost Song - The Cat Empire

Religion?

2008-11-24T02:35:00.000+02:00

The most precise science of them all, imho.

The paradox of choice

2008-10-19T15:32:00.000+03:00

The Illusion of Decision Making

2008-09-25T01:51:00.002+03:00

We think of ourselves as decision making beings. We are confronted every day with situations when we have to choose, to pick something and leave something else behind. Whether it is a matter of work or personal life, whether it is a small thing, like what shoes we wear on a particular occasion, or more important things, like switching jobs, marrying or leaving someone, we always think that the decision is ours to take.
I don't believe in determinism, but I think this whole concept of decision making is highly overestimated. We base our so-called decisions on what we think and on what we feel. What we think is very influenced by our past experiences, our current knowledge and the way a particular situation is presented. What we feel is very hard, if not impossible to control. You are free, but you aren't as free as you think you are; and that's the optimist in me that is speaking :)

Sergey Brin's Blog

2008-09-19T04:01:00.003+03:00

Sergey Brin (Google co-fonder) just started a blog. On his first posts he talks about his predisposition to Parkinson's, his mother's condition and the research that is being made regarding the genetics of Parkinson's Disease.

Just a Thought

2008-09-18T03:27:00.003+03:00

I think that one of the things we misunderstand the most is what time really is.

Money as Debt

2008-09-15T22:43:00.001+03:00

Paul Grignon's animated presentation of "Money as Debt" tells in very simple and effective graphic terms what money is and how it is being created. It is an entertaining way to get the message out. The Cowichan Citizens Coalition and its "Duncan Initiative" received high praise from those who previewed it. I recommend it as a painless but hard-hitting educational tool and encourage the widest distribution and use by all groups concerned with the present unsustainable monetary system.

Shout a Message to the World

2008-09-15T03:38:00.001+03:00

A couple of hours ago I've launched IBlare.com, a very simple website that gives its users the basic functionality of posting a short message on its main page, for everyone to see. The idea is that many of us sometime feel the need of expressing a thought, a feeling, an idea, to shout a love message or a hate message, to make a prediction, to quote somebody, or whatever, and we don't always want to do it by the means of more complex tools like blogs or social networking applications. It is a sort of a shared note board on which anyone can stick their post-it notes.

This website is an experiment. Posting all messages on the main page is an obvious bottleneck for its own growth, despite the fact that up to 30 messages (the latest ones) are presented there. Nevertheless, I thought it would be an interesting thing to try and see how it evolves. I must admit it has something to do with both my fascination with simplicity and my attraction to human emotions, expressing needs and behavior. I am not expecting much out of it, the only thing that I'm sure about receiving being spam and probably attempts of promoting various things.

Go on, try it. When I'll build the archive page you will be proud for being the first ones to post something, and I'll give a special prize of 1 million $ to each and every one of my first 1000 shouters :P

Synthetic Happiness

2008-09-13T16:53:00.001+03:00

An interesting talk by Dan Gilbert.

Stay hungry, stay foolish

2008-09-05T00:57:00.001+03:00

Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Inc, Stanford Commencement Speech, 2005.

Back to the Basics

2008-07-15T00:24:00.001+03:00

Sometimes all you have to do is clap your hands. Keep it simple, how many times do I have to tell you this?

Sleep

2008-07-09T01:10:00.004+03:00

Somebody once told that consciousness is the annoying time between naps. Was he a coward, was he a genius? Maybe he was just an average joe feeling a little bit tired.

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Enjoy: Death In Vegas - "Girls"

Art?

2008-07-08T00:37:00.000+03:00

Expressing what people secretly think, in a simple, straightforward, yet original manner?

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Enjoy: Fixed Income

Write here, right now

2008-07-02T17:53:00.001+03:00

Patrice in Bucharest

2008-06-25T03:36:00.000+03:00

Patrice is selling neither cars nor insurances. He wasn't trying to convince us to buy neither a certain shampoo nor a particular brand of beer, and we loved him for that. He told us he was sick of all the "Buy me! Buy me! Buy me!" banners all over the city, and the crowd yelled in agreement.
Patrice is a great musician, and perhaps an even grater entertainer. Last night he pulled of a wonderful show, and I thank him for that. Lots of people came to his show in order to forget about their troubles and to have a good time, after seeing one of the show posters, or after finding out about it on Feeder.ro. Now, aren't dreams, nice thoughts and good times, merchandise? Aren't posters a form of advertising?

Anyway, I'm not trying to be a wise guy, and these things are obvious to many. Actually, a really wise guy would deliberately block any wise thoughts out and enjoy a good show, and, to a certain extent, I accomplished that. "Don't think" would be a good motto ;))

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Enjoy: patrice - soulstorm

Ce mai visez eu

2008-06-21T00:32:00.001+03:00

In timpul unor manevre, personalul unei navete spatiale observa orbitand in jurul pamantului o cladire. Explicatia pare a fi un atac terorist petrecut in trecut, cand un individ a detonat o bomba intr-un business center. Deflagratia a fost atat de puternica incat intraga cladire a fost propulsata in afara atmosferei terestre, orbitand in deriva in jurul pamantului.

Situatia devine tensionata cand se reuseste contactarea teroristului, care, spre surprinderea tuturor, este inca in viata, in interiorul cladirii, la 2 ani de la incident, supravietuind in imponderabilitate inchis intr-o incapere ermetica si hranindu-se cu plante. Teroristul se pare ca este roman, iar Basescu face presiuni pentru organizarea unei misiuni de salvare.

Se baga cineva la ecranizare? :P

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Enjoy: your dreams :D

The Family

2008-06-12T03:19:00.005+03:00

Susan Denise Atkins (born May 7, 1948) is a convicted American murderer who remains in prison in the State of California for her participation, along with Charles Manson and other members of the so-called "Manson family", in a series of murders, often called the "Manson murders".

Discovery Channel's "Most Evil" series featured tonight the story of Charles Manson and his so-called "Family". One of America's most famous criminals, Manson never actually killed anybody. Instead, he allegedly brainwashed the members of his group in order to perform the murders for him.

Justice of course, in its stiff manner, solved the problem by convicting all the direct participants in the murders plus Manson to prison. But this case raised a lot of questions, one of the most troubling being, to which extent somebody can be brainwashed to the point of performing such gruesome murders. The first thing that comes in people minds is usually that this could never happen to them. Sure, in this case the subjects where two dozens of young hippies that we can always blaim for being weak and naive. But what about Hitler and the Nazi movement that rose anti-Semitic sentiments and hatred to so many people?

Manipulation. Convincing other people by using their own weaknesses, their own fears. People are never satisfied and are always looking for something to blame their dissatisfactions upon. Given the right circumstances, all the hatred of a mass of people can be concentrated in one singular spot, and the result is predictable: a powerful destructive action towards this particular target.

Then, there is the peer pressure. Often underestimated as well, but Asch conformity experiments simply reveals a "tendency to conformity in our society so strong that... people are willing to call white black." Just a couple of hundred years ago, slavery was consider a normal thing. Now we are all thinking about it as something monstrous. But why am I talking about Manson, the Nazis and slavery? Just look how similar people's lives are, how similar we dress and how we tend to have the same recreational activities, and you will get only a glimpse of the power of peer pressure.

Anyway, this is an extensive subject, and I am tired.

Susan Atkins has been sentenced to death in 1971, when she was 23. Her sentence was commuted to life in prison later on and she has been imprisoned ever since. In April 2008, it was revealed that Atkins had been hospitalized for more than a month with an undisclosed illness, which was subsequently reported to be terminal brain cancer. She has been given only several weeks to live.

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Enjoy: Paul McCartney - Helter Skelter

Preconceptions

2008-06-11T03:04:00.003+03:00

We always think of death by terrible car crashes as pure tragedies. And they are.

But then again, we rarely think of sick people, young or old, often lonely, waiting for months, maybe years, on hospital beds for death to come, having nothing more to hope from this life. Cases like these never make the headline news. Like realizing and having to wait for your own death would be an advantage.

Seven Random Don'ts

2008-06-03T03:04:00.001+03:00

Don't be a hater. Hate won't do you any good, it will only consume you in a useless way.

Don't be proud. If you achieve something valuable, be humble, because there are always a lot of extern factors contributing to any success. And if you think that in your case there aren't, think again. Very few things, if any, are indeed yours to be proud of.

Don't be a smartass. Human logic has its limitations, and its very usefulness is debatable. Even if you are smart, that is primary due to your genes, which you were born with. Don't waste your intelligence by proving it all the time. Do something good and useful with it instead.

Don't be afraid. Easily said than done, I know. But old people tend to experience more regret for things they haven't done in their lives than for things they have done. When your life will be close to its end, you will see how meaningless all these reasons for which you are now afraid really are. But then, it will be too late.

Don't be judgmental. It is very hard, if not impossible, to truly put yourself in someone else's shoes in order to understand his or her actions.

Don't be shallow. Don't be too profound, either :P Just keep an open mind and try to look at things from different angles before building an opinion.

Don't be hopeless. Because hope, well, that's what you've got :)

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Enjoy: Gentleman - Serenity

Fine Tuning

2008-05-20T04:24:00.004+03:00

There is a very fine balance of the amount of attention needed in order to keep him or her satisfied.

Overdo it, and you will get her to the point that she will no longer consider it a pleasurable thing, receiving your attention that is, and gaining your attention will no longer be perceived as a challenge. She will get tired of it, and eventually, what was once something she was enjoying, will become a burden, pushing down her shoulders and making her sick of it.

Underdo it, and you will make him suffer. Constantly craving for it and always feeling neglected, ignored or underappreciated, you will make his life miserable and you will inflict a constant pain upon one of the very few people that actually love you. Moreover, you will feed yourself with him, building up your own self confidence on his lack of it and unconsciously building yourself a dependency on this kind of thriving.

There is a very small deviation admitted to this balance, and once its limit has been breached, abnormal relationships develop, that lead to suffering and pain. Consider now that this balance has to be established both ways, and you'll get a sense of why people are listening to all those cheesy love-themed songs so damn often :P

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Enjoy: Massive Attack - Dissolved Girl

Curentul EMO

2008-05-15T04:08:00.002+03:00

Mi-e si putin jena sa vorbesc explicativ despre ceva care nu mai e demult o noutate, insa observ cum presa se agita in mod constipativ si foarte tardiv sa ne prezinte ultima problema grava descoperita de ei cu care se confrunta tineretul glorios al societatii noastre contemporane: the EMO thing, acest curent malefic care ne transforma copiii in sinucigasi pe banda rulanta. Si sa nu trageti concluzia pripita ca as fi eu cine stie ce mare consumator de presa, insa ma mai uit la TV in timp ce pap un pranz copios pe la 12 noaptea si vad tot felul de "oameni mari" care isi dau cu parearea despre ceva ce nu cunosc, nu inteleg si nici nu ar putea sa inteleaga. Dar critica.In primul rand, pentru putinii care nu stiu, curentul EMO nu e nou. Nici nu vorbesc despre ce si de cand se intampla pe afara, dar pana si la noi in Romania colcaie HI5-ul (n.r.: retea de socializare online) de ani buni de profiluri de emo kids. Ce este un emo kid, ce inseamna emo fashion si ce este muzica emo sunt lucruri despre care oricine se poare documenta usor pe net daca nu are idee asa ca nu o voi face eu aici, mai ales ca nu sunt un fin cunoscator. Am scris acest articol cu alt scop, si anume de a surmonta cateva din criticile stereotipe ce se aduc intr-un mod foarte ingust "adeptilor" acestui curent. Si, de fapt, ar fi putut vorba de oricare alt curent. Mereu cand apare ceva "nou", au loc aceleasi discutii, critici, conflicte. Nu ne mai saturam :)

Sunt niste frustrati

Cu siguranta unii dintre ei sunt. Frustrarea insa se naste de cele mai multe ori dintr-un sentiment de superioritate nerecunoscuta si se poate manifesta in foarte multe feluri, unul din cele mai des intalnite fiind dorinta de a avea mai mult. Mai multi bani, mai multa putere. Aceasta dorinta este impartasita, cu mici exceptii, de majoritatea oamenilor, o trasatura a rasei umane si motorul evolutiei. Cu totii suntem niste frustrati iar atitudinile critico-agresive nu sunt altceva decat o dovada in acest sens. Emo kids sunt poate putin mai sinceri in ceea ce priveste frustrarile decat ceilalti.

Sunt prosti pentru ca se taie cu lama

Frustrarile provoaca suferinta iar suferinta uneori isi gaseste niste moduri de manifestare. Multi dintre noi isi refuleaza aceasta suferinta prin atitudini agresive, verbale sau fizice, asupra altora. Unii se bat pe stadioane, altii tipa la parinti sau la copii, la subalterni, la nevasta sau la necunoscuti, injura in trafic sau fumeaza, beau sau iau cine stie ce pastile pentru a se calma. Daca reusim sa gandim putin obiectiv, provocarea unei suferinte fizice de scurta durata (o taietura cu lama este mult mai putin daunatoarea propriului organism decat fumatul, spre exemplu) asupra propriei persoane este mult mai morala decat multe alte forme de oprimare a unei suferinte psihice. Desigur, ideal ar fi sa nu bem, sa nu fumam, sa nu ne certam, sa nu ne taiem cu lama si sa fim calmi tot timpul. Cat despre prostie, nu este o cauza pentru aparitia suferintei, exemple gasindu-se destule in sustinerea acestei afirmatii.
Asculta muzica proasta

...in loc sa asculte muzica buna, care se defineste ca fiind ce? Complexitatea unei piese (numar de instrumente, gradul inalt de dificultate al interpretarii) nu este o masura in acest sens, dovezi gasindu-se incepand cu "Für Elise" (Beethoven) si pana la "Love me do" (The Beatles). Mesajul transmis? Poate, dar evaluarea calitatii acestuia are un grad mare de subiectivism, si putem observa usor ca fondul mesajelor tuturor pieselor din toate genurile muzicale ce contin versuri se rezuma la cateva teme principale care se repeta. Timpul poate ca este cea mai buna masura, iar in acest caz exista formatii emo suficient de longevive pentru un gen relativ tanar ca acesta sa fie considerat cel putin la fel "bun" ca multe altele.

Se imbraca penibil

... in schimb, a ne innoda o bucata de material textil in jurul gatului si a o lasa sa ne atarne pe piept denumind-o cravata este un gest firesc, necesar si de bun-gust :) Cu totii adoptam un stil vestimentar care sa exprime o apartenenta. Fie ca ne supunem unor reguli sau o facem de bunavoie, fie ca vrem sa exprimam clasa sociala sau curentul muzical de care apartinem, ba mai mult, chiar daca incercam sa demonstram insusi faptul ca nu ne preocupa modul in care ne imbracam este tot vorba despre un mod de exprimare. Judecarea calitatii unei vestimentatii se poate face doar in cadrul acelui stil, dupa regulile sale, pe care cel mai probabil cei ce fac aceasta afirmatie nu le cunosc.

Nu au personalitate

Insasi existenta curentului este o dovada intrinseca a faptului ca cel putin unii dintre ei au o personalitate puternica. Ca in orice curent, exista trend-setters si multi trend-followers, posers, wannabies si trend-haters. Intr-adevar, multi devin emo pentru ca simt nevoia sa adopte un set de valori, sa se asocieze cumva unui grup, unei comunitati. Dar nu facem cu totii asta? Ce ne face pe noi sa credem ca seturile noastre de valori sunt mult mai bune, nu cumva insasi ele, seturile? Si iarasi revenim la subiectivism. Judecam plecand de la niste premize pe care le consideram universal valabile, insa jocul cu valorile absolute este unul foarte alunecos.

Si cam atat. Le-am luat apararea destul :D Si intre noi fie vorba, nici nu au nevoie de avocati. Pentru ca nici nu vor sa fie intelesi de toata lumea. They don't really care, ba chiar prefera sa fie putin stigmatizati, ca orice generatie la varsta asta.

P.S.: nu sunt emo. Actually, nu am fost niciodata ceva "to the bone", am ascultat si ascult multe genuri de muzica, am evident unele preferinte insa sunt suficient de diverse, si cred ca important este sa nu ramenem blocati intr-un anumit curent, oricare ar fi el. Iar emo it's kind of obsolete btw :P

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Enjoy: whatever you like :)

Death Adaptor

2008-05-13T02:39:00.002+03:00

Haven't heard about it yet? It's the latest gadget, a small black box with a single on/off button on its side. Very simple to use, very simple to handle. Turn it on and it will immediately start to work. What does it do? Well, like its self-explanatory name describes, it adapts you to death, as simple as that. It pulls you from your state of denial and makes you feel comfortable with the fact that everything you see, everything you touch, everything you create, everything you have and everything you love will perish, just like you will.
If it hurts a little bit in the beginning, don't worry, that's perfectly normal. Actually, most people turn it off after a couple of seconds on their first attempt to use it, feeling hurt, scared and confused. It shakes a little bit your system of values and that can be quite disturbing, to say the least. But if you manage to use it on regular basis, it can help you maintain a kind of sanity that many of us normally perceive as madness.

Buy it now for only 9.99$, and, as a limited special offer, you'll get a free copy of yourself to try out new clothes, hairstyles and personalities!

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Enjoy: Streetlights (Autechre - Eutow)